change aheadBeing emotionally prepared for divorce is a crucial part of working through the process. It is particularly difficult if one spouse is emotionally prepared and the other spouse is not ready yet. If you are not emotionally ready for divorce, then the emotion will be intertwined with the decision-making that must happen to effectively work through the divorce most effectively. Here are some questions to ask yourself to know if you are ready for divorce:

  1. Is there anything else you could do to save your marriage? Rarely is a divorce caused only by the actions of one spouse. Have you said the words “I’m sorry” for the part you played in the breakdown of the marriage? Sometimes those simple words can be a pathway to finding each other again. Would counseling help?
  2. Are you at peace with the decision to divorce and the changes the decision will cause? Can you walk out of the door without anger, frustration, or hurt? Are you ready to make rational life-changing decision, leaving the emotion aside? Is it possible that you are still in love with your spouse?
  3. Have you educated yourself on the divorce process? Do you have a realistic assessment of the process and what to expect from the divorce?
  4. Do you know the economic realities that divorce will bring to your situation? Can you afford to divorce? Are you willing to accept a lower standard of living, if that is necessary to get a divorce? Are you ready to be financially on your own?
  5. Are you ready to partner with your spouse to co-parent your children? Your marriage may be ending, but your relationship as co-parents will continue forever. Can you set aside the marriage issues and work with your spouse to raise your children? Can you keep your kids out of the adult issues?

If you are not ready for divorce, work with your spouse to try to explore any remaining avenues. Unfortunately, filing for divorce only takes one person. So, one spouse may be ready and file for divorce, even if the other spouse is not ready. For the spouse who has to face divorce before he or she is ready, it is hard to get to an emotional place deal with a divorce forced upon you. It is important to work through things as quickly as you can so you can face the divorce rationally.

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Photo of Michelle O'Neil Michelle O'Neil

Michelle May O’Neil has 30+ years’ experience representing small business owners, professionals, and individuals in litigation related to family law matters such as divorce, child custody, and complex property division. Described by one lawyer as “a lethal combination of sweet-and-salty”, Ms. O’Neil exudes…

Michelle May O’Neil has 30+ years’ experience representing small business owners, professionals, and individuals in litigation related to family law matters such as divorce, child custody, and complex property division. Described by one lawyer as “a lethal combination of sweet-and-salty”, Ms. O’Neil exudes genuine compassion for her client’s difficulties, yet she can be relentless when in pursuit of a client’s goals. One judge said of Ms. O’Neil, “She cannot be out-gunned, out-briefed, or out-lawyered!”

Family Law Specialist

Ms. O’Neil became a board-certified family law specialist by the Texas Board of Legal Specialization in 1997 and has maintained her certification since that time. While representing clients in litigation before the trial court is an important part of her practice, Ms. O’Neil also handles appellate matters in the trial court, courts of appeals and Texas Supreme Court. Lawyers frequently consult with Ms. O’Neil on their litigation cases about specialized legal issues requiring particularized attention both at the trial court and appellate levels. This gives her a unique perspective and depth of perception that benefits both her litigation and appellate clients.

Top Lawyers in Texas and America

Ms. O’Neil has been named to the list of Texas SuperLawyers for many years, a peer-voted honor given to only about 5% of the lawyers in the state of Texas. Ms. O’Neil received the special honor of being named by Texas SuperLawyers as one of the Top 50 Women Lawyers in Texas, Top 100 Lawyers in Texas, and Top 100 Lawyers in DFW for multiple years. She was named one of the Best Lawyers in America and received an “A-V” peer review rating by Martindale-Hubbell Legal Directories for the highest quality legal ability and ethical standards.

Author and Speaker

A noted author, Ms. O’Neil released her second book Basics of Texas Divorce Law in November 2010, with a second edition released in 2013, and a third edition expected in 2015.  Her first book, All About Texas Law and Kids, was published in September 2009 by Texas Lawyer Press. In 2012, Ms. O’Neil co-authored the booklets What You Need To Know About Common Law Marriage In Texas and Social Study Evaluations.  The State Bar of Texas and other providers of continuing education for attorneys frequently enlist Ms. O’Neil to provide instruction to attorneys on topics of her expertise in the family law arena.