I posted about Sandra Bullock and her role as step-mom to Jesse’s kids here.  I read a GREAT post about the role of step-moms on the blog The Psycho Ex Wife.  As a step-mom myself, I can really relate to the important and sometimes thankless job that step-moms perform.

I’m “just” a stepmother.

I’m a stepmother that helps my stepchildren, in some way, every day:

◦I helped try to teach them to ride a bike
◦I helped teach them how to tie their shoes
◦I help them get exercise and learn about health and fitness
◦I pick out books for them
◦I take them fishing, sometimes even when Dad can’t
◦I take them on walks and hikes
◦I sign them up for sports, on my time and with my money
◦I teach them how to make and try new foods
◦I introduce them to different cities and cultures, my time, my money
◦I teach them how to speak with respect
◦I help them with homework
◦I buy them new clothes
◦I buy them Christmas presents
◦I made an area in the woods for them to play behind our house, decorated it with  them
◦I play board games with them
◦I introduce them to new music
◦I keep the craft cabinet stocked so they can continue to make art
◦I make sure they brush their teeth appropriately
◦I make sure they wipe the toilet seat off when their aim sucks
◦I help take care of them when they are sick
◦I help clean up their vomit
◦I cut their hair
◦I come up with events like SmoresFest and outdoor movie night so they can have fun
◦I help teach them about respect for themselves and others
◦I help teach them the importance of education
◦I do this with no desire nor intent to replace their biological mother
◦I do this because I care about them and love them
◦I treat their father with care, love, respect, and dignity so they may experience what a healthy relationship really looks like

(That’s the short list) AND YET:

◦I get no consideration on how custody changes will affect me or my children
◦I get no consideration on how child support will affect me or my children
◦I get no consideration for activities I believe they should or should not participate in
◦I have no say in their medical care
◦I have no say in their education
◦There may be more…
 

And… you can bet your last dollar I’m dragged into nearly every court proceeding to answer questions that affect me every single day, while no one gives a crap how the outcome will affect me or my children.