Dallas Divorce Law Blog : Dallas Texas Divorce Lawyer & Attorney : O'Neil Attorneys Law Firm : TX Child Support & Custody Issues

On Thursday, June 17, I will be participating as a panelist in the State Bar of Texas Family Law Update:  Same Sex Couple Divorce/Parenting Issues webcast seminar. 

This two-hour webcast is intended to inform the family law practitioner about recent developments in same-sex family law cases. Dallas and Austin have both recently litigated gay divorces; the 5th and 9th Courts of Appeal have recently issued opinions addressing standing for same-sex parents.

• WHO is most affected by same-sex family law cases?
• WHAT can practitioners do with cutting-edge lawyering?
• WHERE will standing end up, with the split of opinions among appellate courts?
• WHEN is a parent not a parent?
• WHY can’t couples legally married in other jurisdictions get divorced in Texas?

Advising same-sex couples can have long-term ramifications for the best interests of children, and need to anticipate upcoming changes in the law, both locally and nationally. Join us to see the latest developments from the attorneys on the front lines. 

This seminar is approved by the Texas Bar for continuing legal education with 2 hours credit. The seminar is sponsored by the Sexual Orientation and Gender Identification Issues Section of the State Bar of Texas.

I am very excited to be on this panel and plan to learn more than I teach!  Other speakers on the panel include:

1. Ms. Jennifer R. Cochran, Austin
Attorney at Law

Read Jennifer's Blog Here:  The Zealous Advocate

2. Ms. Karen J. Langsley, Dripping Springs
Attorney at Law

3. Ms. Michelle May O'Neil, Dallas
O'Neil Anderson

4. Mr. Peter Schulte, Dallas
Schulte & Apgar

Mr. Schulte has been in the news a great deal lately, representing one member of the gay couple seeking a divorce in Dallas.  That case remains pending on appeal in the Dallas Court of Appeals.

See my prior posts on that case:

1. Dallas Judge: Ban on Gay Marriage and Divorce Unconstitutional: UPDATE
2. Dallas Judge Tena Callahan Speaks Publicly For The First Time Since Her Controversial Ruling

Time Magazine has also written on this topic recently, discussing the gay divorce cases pending both in Dallas and in Austin, Can Gay Couples Divorce Where They Can't Marry?

The cost of the webcast seminar is $135. 

Webcast registration is only available online and by using a credit card. Go to TexasBarCLE.com and select 'Webcasts' from the menu. Registrations by mail, fax, or phone will not be accepted.

We encourage early registrations to give you time to verify that your system is webcast-ready. Our technical support lines are usually extremely busy on the day of a webcast, so be please register and test your system a few days ahead of the webcast date.

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I posted about Sandra Bullock and her role as step-mom to Jesse's kids here.  I read a GREAT post about the role of step-moms on the blog The Psycho Ex Wife.  As a step-mom myself, I can really relate to the important and sometimes thankless job that step-moms perform.

I’m “just” a stepmother.

I’m a stepmother that helps my stepchildren, in some way, every day:

◦I helped try to teach them to ride a bike
◦I helped teach them how to tie their shoes
◦I help them get exercise and learn about health and fitness
◦I pick out books for them
◦I take them fishing, sometimes even when Dad can’t
◦I take them on walks and hikes
◦I sign them up for sports, on my time and with my money
◦I teach them how to make and try new foods
◦I introduce them to different cities and cultures, my time, my money
◦I teach them how to speak with respect
◦I help them with homework
◦I buy them new clothes
◦I buy them Christmas presents
◦I made an area in the woods for them to play behind our house, decorated it with  them
◦I play board games with them
◦I introduce them to new music
◦I keep the craft cabinet stocked so they can continue to make art
◦I make sure they brush their teeth appropriately
◦I make sure they wipe the toilet seat off when their aim sucks
◦I help take care of them when they are sick
◦I help clean up their vomit
◦I cut their hair
◦I come up with events like SmoresFest and outdoor movie night so they can have fun
◦I help teach them about respect for themselves and others
◦I help teach them the importance of education
◦I do this with no desire nor intent to replace their biological mother
◦I do this because I care about them and love them
◦I treat their father with care, love, respect, and dignity so they may experience what a healthy relationship really looks like

(That’s the short list) AND YET:

◦I get no consideration on how custody changes will affect me or my children
◦I get no consideration on how child support will affect me or my children
◦I get no consideration for activities I believe they should or should not participate in
◦I have no say in their medical care
◦I have no say in their education
◦There may be more…
 

And… you can bet your last dollar I’m dragged into nearly every court proceeding to answer questions that affect me every single day, while no one gives a crap how the outcome will affect me or my children.

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Many parents have long distances to bear between their children and themselves.  On Fridays and Sundays at the ariport, one can see many parents escorting kids to and from flights.  Airlines have regulations addressing flights for minor children flying without an adult -- called Unaccompanied Minors.  The regulations and fees charged vary between the airlines.  Here's a summary of the various airlines policies:

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Although it may seem like common sense, there are a number of things parent shouldn't tell their kids during and after their divorce.  A common them among some of these things is the assignment of blame for the divorce (be it blaming the other parent or the child).  Another common theme involves the delivery of the message.  Communication experts have routinely pointed out that approximately 80% of communication is in the delivery.  Also, these communication tips not only apply to divorce cases in Dallas but across the country too.

Examples of things not to say that fall in the "not my fault" category are:

1. I don't want a divorce, but your [mom/dad] does;
2. You can thank your [mom/dad] for us splitting up; and
3. Because of what you did, we're getting a divorce.

Examples relating to the delivery of the message include: 

1. Yelling at the other parent in front of the children; and
2. Expressing apathy/frustration about the other parent's rules.

Sometimes parents "sugar coat" the issues which results in their children having unrealistic expectations.  Although the level of explanation to provide a child varies by age, intellect and maturity, parents do themselves a disservice by trying to shield their children from truths surrounding their divorce. 

Bottom line: Parents should remember to avoid blame assignment and pay attention to how they communicate with their children when discussing their divorce.  Hat tips to Dick Price's blog and Wolfgang at Singleparentgossip.com for the motivation behind this post. 

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