Taking Control

Excerpted from an article by Diana Shepherd, CDFA

Posted by Michelle May O’Neil on August 8, 2011

 

Do you have a written, detailed, up-to-date budget detailing all your daily, weekly, monthly, and yearly expenses and income? If you’re like most people, your answer to this question will be “no.” The lack of a budget may have caused financial problems during your marriage, but it could be ruinous post-divorce.

The first step to gaining control of your finances—and life—during divorce is to prepare an accurate current budget and a post-divorce budget. You will need to gather documentation to ensure that your budget is objective and not the product of guess-work.

Identify your sources of income, which includes revenue from full- and part-time employment, investment return, and self-employment income. Add up all the income from different sources to come up with total income. If you’re clueless about what your spouse earns, obtain or make copies of his/her tax returns for the last three to five years.

After you have an accurate picture of what’s coming in, you need to create an equally accurate picture of what’s going out. You should review your check register and credit-card statements—or your online banking records if that’s how you usually pay your bills. Remember that not all your expenses are paid monthly; some insurance premiums or tax bills might be payable quarterly or annually, so make sure to account for those as well.

Don’t forget about cash withdrawals using ATM cards; you’ll be surprised how quickly taking $50 here and $100 there can put you in the red if these withdrawals are not included in your budget. Also, you need to be able to account for where/how you spent the cash: was it taking taxis to work, going out to restaurants, on a new outfit, or paying the babysitter?

After you’ve completed a “first draft” of your budget, ask a reasonable and financially-savvy friend or family member to review it and question the expenses that seem unreasonable. If you’re going to ask for help with your budget, you’ll have to agree to keep an open mind and not to become angry or defensive if he/she questions one of your items. This person is trying to help you, and he/she will probably be a lot easier on you that a judge would be!

If you’re like most people, your number-one financial concern during divorce is maintaining positive cash flow—in other words, being able to pay the bills on a monthly basis—not only on the day after divorce, but five, ten, 15 years into the future. In order to meet cash-flow needs, there are three sources of money that may be available to you as a result of your divorce: child support, spousal support, and marital property. Let’s take a quick look at all three.

 

Child Support

In the US and Canada, a parent is obligated to support his or her children, regardless of the parent’s marital status. All states and provinces have child support guidelines; you should review the guidelines in your area to get a rough idea of what you might be entitled to receive or have to pay. Generally speaking, child support is based on factors such as the ages of and number of minor children, the amount of time they will reside with each parent, and the income of each parent. These factors are plugged into a formula, which then supplies a recommendation for the Court. In a divorce situation, the non-custodial parent is usually ordered to pay child support to the custodial parent, from which the custodial parent pays the child’s expenses.

However, the child support formula does not take into consideration your child’s actual expenses. For example, extra-curricular activities, private school tuition, and college funding are not factored into the formula. These are considered “extraordinary expenses,” and they are often an area of great discussion and/or argument. One of the ways in which a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst™ (CDFA™) can help their clients is to determine which costs may not be addressed by the guidelines and then to help them find alternative solutions to cover these expenses. Since child support is such a complex area of the law—and because it can be a very contentious issue between divorcing parents—you should ask your lawyer for guidance regarding the child support amount.

Spousal Support

Another source of income (or an expense) for many divorced people will be spousal support. Spousal support is based on different factors, and it’s a very gray and subjective area. However, the two most heavily weighted factors are need and ability to pay; the length of the marriage is another factor that is considered when awarding spousal support. Unless you have prepared an accurate budget, you will not know how much spousal support you need—or, if you’re on the other end of the equation, how much you can afford to pay.

Property

The third potential source of money in a divorce is property. Many states and provinces call for an equitable division of property. “Equitable” does not always mean “equal”—it is, however, supposed to mean “fair.” If the spouses can’t agree, the judge is the final arbiter of what constitutes fair. Although most divorces settle 50/50, it can make a huge difference which 50% you get; in other words, all assets are not created equal. The first thing to know is that there are two kinds of property: Marital and Separate. Anything that is marital will go into the marital pie that’s going to be equitably divided; anything that’s separate property will not. The distinction between the two is a gray area and should be discussed with your lawyer. To read more about the types of property, click here.

The Last Word

You need to create an accurate budget today, and you need to understand how child support, spousal support, and property division will impact your ability to cover your cash-flow needs. Remember, you only get one chance to negotiate your property settlement. Can you really afford to make a mistake?

Click the link to read the entire article and find our more about how a CDFA can help you take control of your finances during and post divorce.

Our Choice for Dallas Family Law Attorney

Client Testimonial Tuesday:

“I hired Michelle May O'Neil to represent our daughter in a custody/divorce suit in Dallas Texas. We had our choice of Dallas family law attorneys. Michelle's "leave no stone unturned" approach was all we needed. We won  full custody and we are grateful for a job that was done as it should have been done. INCREDIBLE results." 

Tom Ermish

How To Find A Good Lawyer When You Need One

Most people do not have a clue how to find a good lawyer when they need one. In fact, statistics show that 68% of consumers spend two hours or fewer gathering information before selecting a lawyer. The vast majority of consumers report feeling they “can trust” their lawyer is the most important factor in the selection process.

The first step is to determine what type of lawyer you need. In most states, a licensed attorney may practice in any field of law, but most concentrate on very specific areas. Most states also have a process of specialization for attorneys. “In days gone by, most lawyers were general practitioners, meaning that they handled cases in a wide variety of practice areas. As the number of lawyers grew, the law became more complicated, and our society spread out, it has become necessary for lawyers to concentrate their efforts,” says Michelle May O’Neil, a board-certified Dallas divorce lawyer.

One of the best resources to find a lawyer that does the kind of law you need is through other lawyers. Everyone should know at least one lawyer they could call and ask for a referral. Even if the lawyer you know practices criminal law and you need someone to prepare a will, the criminal lawyer will be able to give you some referrals in the practice area you need.

 

There are also referral lists maintained by most local and state bar associations. The downfall of using these services is that there is usually no screening on the qualifications of the particular lawyer with the individual need. It is then up to the consumer to inquire sufficiently into the lawyer’s experience compared to the need of the consumer.

 

The internet is an extremely beneficial source of locating a lawyer. Many websites maintain directories of lawyers nationwide. Most law firms these days maintain websites and usually you can find those through any search engine. Often lawyers are active in professional or community organizations which may be featured on a website. “My firm’s website is a key tool in educating clients on what distinguishes my family law firm from another firm in Dallas,” says Dallas Divorce Lawyer Michelle May O’Neil. “I find that most potential new clients read all or part of an attorney’s website before meeting in person.”

 

For more information, download the article: How to Find a Good Lawyer When You Need One in pdf format.

 

Also see related information at: On The Case -- How To Choose The Best Divorce Lawyer For You.  This article has a list of questions that you can ask an attorney you interview.

Questions to ask yourself before filing for divorce.

As a Dallas divorce lawyer, I am often asked what can one do to prepare themselves for the filing of a divorce.  A divorce can be one of the most stressful and emotionally involved experiences of your life.  So before filing for divorce it is important to ask yourself some key questions to make sure you understand the legal process and are prepared for the emotional involvement a divorce requires.  First, ask yourself whether it would be beneficial to speak with a marriage counselor, either individually or as a couple.  Even if you think there is no hope for saving the marriage, talking to a professional might help you recognize where things went wrong, and how you can avoid similar behavior in the future. 

Ask yourself if whether it is a financially good idea or bad idea to get a divorce in this economy.  Although there are signs that the economy is strengthening, a lot of individuals still have not fully recovered from the effects of the economic downturn.  Property values are still down somewhat and the stock market hasn’t fully recovered.  As a result, getting a divorce now may cost you more than it would if you “stick it out” and wait until the economy is moving in strong positive direction.  Obviously, the emotional aspects of considering a divorce sometimes outweigh the financial aspects.  However, it is still important to ask yourself how getting a divorce in this economy would effect your overall net worth.

Ask yourself, and others, for a reference to a qualified divorce attorney.  A divorce is a complicated procedure and you will need someone to not only advise you but listen to your needs and concerns as well.  You’ll be spending a good amount of time, and money, with your divorce attorney, so it is critical that you shop around until you find an attorney that fits your personality and needs.  A great resource for finding divorce attorneys are websites such as AVVO.com or your state’s bar association webpage.  Referrals from friends and family that have gone through a divorce are also a great resource to consider.

Ask yourself if you have all of your financial documents in order.  Again, emotions during a divorce can be overwhelming but it is absolutely critical to have all your financial documents gathered and in a safe place before filing for divorce.  During a divorce, your bank account statements, credit card statements, retirement and brokerage account statements will be looked at with great scrutiny.  Doing the legwork before filing for divorce and gathering all these documents will help not only keep costs down (from having your attorney search for these records), but also help keep the emotional toil down as well.

Ask yourself what steps you can take to safeguard your assets during separation.  One of these steps is for you to take possession or certain assets, especially those you wish to continue using such as your car or other personal belongings.  Another step involves protecting your credit score by closing out joint credit cards and bank accounts.  By taking these proactive steps, you can help keep things as normal as possible during such an emotional time.

Finally, ask yourself what your goals of the divorce are.  For some, the goal is short-sighted: they just want to end their marriage.  For others, the goal is to be put in a situation to where they can move on to greener pastures and continue to grow in their personal lives.  Whatever the reason, it is important to ask yourself what your goal is and communicate this with your divorce attorney. 

Dallas Divorce Law Blog Receives National and Local Attention

Dallas Divorce Lawyer Michelle May O'NeilYesterday was a great day for us here at the Dallas Divorce Law Blog.  We started the day with recognition from the Dallas Morning News MomsblogDallas divorce lawyer Michelle May O'Neil has been honored as a contributor to the DMN Momsblog.  Her post entitled Who Calls the Doctor When a Child Has Two Homes? was featured yesterday. 

The blog was also recognized as the Best in Law Blogs on November 10, 2009 by LexBlog.  The entry entitled Parent Coordinator v. Parent Facilitator -- What's the Diff? received this national attention.

Good work guys!

Dallas Divorce Lawyer Michelle May O'Neil Appears On Local Television Program Today

Today, channel KDTX featured Michelle May O'Neil on the television show Joy In Our Town to discuss challenges in paying and receiving child support in a down economy.  O'Neil gave pointers to obligors (paying support) who have lost their jobs and find it difficult to make the payments, as well as to obligees (receiving support) who need to collect and enforce the payment.

UPDATE:  Unfortunately, the show's airing has been delayed until November 13, 2009 at noon.  But you can see it below!

To watch the video, click here: www.youtube.com/watch

 

Dallas Divorce Lawyers featured in local media

O'Neil Anderson has been featured in Dallas Morning News' Neighbor's Go publication.  See the story here:  The May Firm Expands to Become O'Neil Anderson.

Dallas Divorce Lawyer Defines a "Win" at the Advanced Family Law Conference

Dallas Divorce Lawyer Michelle May O'Neil

Teaches Other Lawyers About Winning

Michelle May O'Neil, founding partner of Dallas' O'Neil Anderson family law boutique firm, presented at the Advanced Family Law Conference held in Dallas in August 2009.  O'Neil presented her paper Winning Your Case Before You Go To Trial together with Judge William Harris of the 233rd Family District Court of Tarrant County, Texas.

Here's an excerpt from the paper:

 Dictionary.com defines a “win” as achieving victory or finishing first in a competition. Many times in family law litigation it is hard to define what constitutes a “win” in any particular case. What really is a “victory”? For some clients the simple act of obtaining the divorce will be considered a “victory”. Others set their standard of a “victory” very high, such as when a client will only be happy if he or she has the child 100% of the time.

Much of “winning” is determined by where the bar gets set to define a win. Establishing achievable goals remains one of the most essential aspects of client relations, as well as “winning” the case.

An additional aspect of “winning” might be to cut short what might otherwise be protracted litigation. This paper aims to review methods of “winning” the case prior to an extended trial on the merits of the case. This paper presumes that “winning” is defined as achievement of the client’s reasonable goals in a quick and efficient manner. This paper discusses various aspects of disposition of a case, both on procedural grounds as well as the merits of a claim, prior to trial. Areas such as jurisdiction, special exceptions, default judgments, summary judgments, declaratory judgments, discovery, sanctions, and pretrial appeal are covered.
 

 

Tips for controlling attorney's fees.

Make no mistake about it, divorces can be quite expensive.  Notwithstanding, there are several ways that you can help reduce the amount of attorney and paralegal fees you incur in your case.  As a Dallas divorce attorney our office has found that the following are quite helpful in controlling costs:

  1. Communicate with your attorney via email.  A typical day for me involves reviewing hundreds of emails and returning several phone calls.  Putting your thoughts down in writing helps you to single out what your concerns are when you talk to me.  With that in mind, when you email me, try and be as concise as possible.  In doing so I won't have to dig through your email to determine what the question or concern is.  
  2. Keep accurate financial records.  In all likelihood you will be required to file an inventory and appraisal of the community and separate estates.  By keeping up with your financial records, or at a minimum knowing where to readily obtain them, you can greatly reduce costs.  If you don't keep accurate records, or know where to get them, either I or my staff will have to obtain them for you and then sift through them.  
  3. Understand that while I genuinely care about you and your case, I have to charge you for my time.  With that in mind, try to limit our communications to the subject at hand.  We are genuinely empathetic to all our clients and are very passionate about what we do, but if your emotions are running high, you can save a good deal of money by talking to a counselor, friend, clergy member or family member.
  4. When our office sends you something for your review and approval, please do so as soon as possible.  If I or my staff have to contact you to remind you about a task, you will incur fees.

If you keep these tips in mind, you can greatly reduce the amount of attorneys fees in a divorce case.  These tips are simply guidelines and not hard and fast rules.  When seeking out an attorney, it is completely appropriate for you to ask how you can help control costs.  If the prospective attorney does not have an answer, I suggest you keep looking. 

The Big Move

We moved!  We are on the other side of the move and in the new, pretty office amid boxes and pictures on the floor. The new office is at the intersection of the Dallas North Tollway and LBJ Freeway. Our new address is:  O'Neil Anderson, Two Lincoln Centre, 5420 LBJ Freeway, Suite 500, Dallas, Texas 75240.  Our phone numbers are the same:  Telephone 972-852-8000 and Facsimile 972-852-8001.

Drop by for a tour if you are in the area.

"Change is inevitable.  Growth is intentional."