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Parents can now coordinate parenting time schedules, health records, immunization histories, expense sharing, school information, virtual document storage and much more on a website specifically designed to deal with the issues that arise in co-parenting situation.  OurFamilyWizard.com is intended to remove conflict and improve the lives of children. In fact, judges in at least 35 states order families to utilize the site in contested cases to reduce conflict. The OurFamilyWizard website has quickly become the leading way parents coordinate all of their vital information, divorced or not.

The Indy Star newspaper ran this article about OurFamilyWizard:  Online service helps divorced parents keep children's schedules straight

Divorce is hard. Add children and juggled schedules to the mix, and things can get hostile.

Paul Volker and Dara Wegener-Volker, who live in Minnesota, were married in 2000. Volker brought three children to the marriage; Wegener-Volker brought one.

After her first marriage ended in divorce, Wegener-Volker started a desk calendar to manage her daughter's schedule. Pink days were spent with Mom, blue days with Dad.

"To keep my life organized and civil, I did everything on paper," she says. "It was important for my daughter."

After the addition of Volker's kids, scheduling conflicts escalated -- until one night in 2001 when he had an idea. What if the couple could put their schedule online and make it visible to the other parents?

"I had kind of an epiphany," Volker says. "What if I could get everything on the Internet, and we would only have to see the information that was available, for the sake of the kids?"

That's how OurFamilyWizard.com began.

The site, which went live in 2001, allows parents to input their schedules, coordinate days and swap visitation days.

The Web site is court-ordered in 35 states, because the records on the site are time- and date- stamped, and communications are backed up by an electronic breadcrumb trail. Expenses can be logged, and there's even a journal on the site.

The Volkers, along with company president and CEO Jainarain Kissoon, also hope to add a section for child-support payment records.

The service has about 15,000 household subscribers, many of which are in California, Florida and Canada. It costs $99 a year.

A lot of users are reluctant to start with the service, according to Volker, who hopes the site brings families through the turmoil of divorce a little bit easier.

"I think it brings peace a lot sooner in children's lives," Wegener-Volker says.
 

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It is easy to get lost in your emotions amidst a divorce.  During such an emotional time it is easy to forget that divorce may be the end of a marriage but not the end of a family.  Sections 153.311 through 153.317 of the Texas Family Code sets forth the standard possession order promulgated by the legislature to encourage frequent contact between a child and each parent for periods of possession that optimize the development of a close and continuing relationship between each parent and child.  Consequently, co-parenting is viewed as a necessary means to achieve the legislature's intent.  Couples who separate but continue to work cooperatively as parents give their children the best chances for a smooth adjustment to living in two separate households and continued growth.

I recently came across a South Carolina Family Law Blog posting discussing five tips for effective co-parenting.  Although much of the advice is common sense, it must be remembered that sometimes our emotions override our "common sense."  Here are the five tips:

1. Keep emotions in check. There may be some lingering anger, sadness and resentment among you, but your kids have already been [sic] enough. Give them the benefit of parents that work together instead of yelling, fighting and name-calling.
2. Think about the kids. At the end of the day, your children are what really matter, not your own personal feelings towards your former spouse. No matter what kind of disputes come up – from where to spend holidays to disputes over money – put aside what you want or need and take the time to consider your children’s desires and best interests.
3. Communicate. It will be very difficult for either of you to be effective parents if you do not communicate information to one another. Whether it’s sharing news about school events or updates on your child’s health, make sure you share all important information with the other parent.
4. Be businesslike. You are no longer married, but you still have to interact with your ex for the sake of your kids. It can sometimes be helpful to stop thinking about your relationship in personal terms and start thinking about it in more professional ones, seeing your ex as a partner in the business of raising happy, healthy children.
5. Don’t badmouth. You have little to gain and a lot to lose when you choose to say hurtful things about your ex in front of your children. Your children may be well aware of the reasons why you and your former spouse do not get along, but that doesn’t mean you have to keep dragging them out. Even if you no longer love your ex, your children still do, and they deserve an environment that doesn’t attempt to manipulate or deride those feelings.

In addition to basic parenting issues, the couple must somehow find a way to do what was probably a challenge in their relationship: communicate clearly and effectively with each other. Working together is essential to the success of a co-parenting arrangement. It may be hard to work through your communication issues, but everyone will benefit if you do.

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