Sexting is Considered Being Unfaithful, But Not Grounds for Divorce, Say Legal Experts

New York Democratic Rep. Anthony Weiner's scandalous online dalliances with a string of women – including a porn star he coached to lie – not only places him in hot water with his congressional colleagues, but his history of sexting and phone sex could at least be a contributing factor in a divorce proceeding, if not the primary reason itself, legal experts say.

While most states have a "no-fault" divorce policy -- meaning that a person wanting a divorce does not have to establish fault – legal experts say they’re seeing an increase in social media issues cited in divorce cases.

If Huma Abedin, Weiner's wife and top political aide to Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, were to give the sexting lawmaker the heave-ho, legal experts say it would certainly help her case.

Silvana D. Raso, a New Jersey divorce attorney, says that “most courts will recognize this as a form of being unfaithful through an outside romantic relationship, ” adding that, “most people do set forth why they are getting a divorce and can use this as the reason.”

“Even communications on social media that start out ‘innocently’ and never culminate in a physical relationship can have devastating impacts on a marriage as is evident in the Anthony Weiner case,” she said. “I often deal with spouses who are looking to divorce because the other spouse did not ‘cheat' in the traditional sense but was involved in an emotional affair via social media.”

“This is a prime example of an emotional affair -- an emotional connection established with someone they may never meet -- for example online -- without consummating the relationship, can be seen as being unfaithful,” Raso said.

New York attorney Jonna M. Spilbor agrees. "Sexting, while not technically adultery, is cheating. But she says in New York divorce proceedings cheating "hits you in the heart, more than it hits you in the wallet."

"In other words, divorcing your cheating spouse doesn’t get you a bigger piece of the marital pie. The only way a cheating spouse might get the short end of the stick, when splitting up the marital estate, is if he or she cheated so badly that the non-cheating spouse was completely emotionally scarred and couldn’t live a normal life thereafter. And in this day and age, when cheating is as prevalent as breathing, it simply won’t matter much to a judge."

Attorney Stephen Haller, who represented disgraced former New Jersey Gov. James E. McGreevey in his divorce, has a slightly different take saying, “there’s no specific grounds anywhere that I know of where sexting is listed as grounds for divorce.”

But he does say that text messages and sending racy pictures can be used as evidence constituting irreconcilable differences, but not necessarily adultery.

“Going after other women is irrefutable evidence that constitutes a cause of action -- in this case irreconcilable differences,” Haller said.

Proving adultery is more complicated. Haller says it requires proof that a physical relationship took place at specific times, and that the cheating spouse and the lover were "inclined" to participate in sexual relations.

Haller says Abedin may be less inclined to say the “sexting” was the primary reason for divorce because then the “other woman/women,” legally known as the “co-respondent” would have to be contacted and involved.

Weiner said he repeatedly apologized to Abedin, who was not present at the press conference. He claims that prior to him coming clean publicly, his wife was already aware of some of his indiscretions with other women, although he said that he did not have a physical relationship with any of the women and has never had sex outside his marriage.

Weiner also said he has "no intention of splitting up" with Abedin, but said that she was "not happy" about his actions. 

If his wife does decide to kick him to the curb, the sexting incident could give her powerful evidence for her case.

By Meg Baker, FoxNews.com. Published June 07, 2011

Will it be held against me if I get another woman pregnant before my divorce is final?

I frequently get questions from potential clients about what are the effects of adultery in the outcome of a divorce.  Recently I was asked: "Will it be held against me if I get another woman pregnant before my divorce is final?"  This post will be one of several where I'll answer questions I receive from the trenches.

Texas is a no fault divorce state which essentially means that neither party necessarily has to prove the other did something "wrong" causing the divorce.  However, fault grounds often arise in divorce proceedings and the court will consider them in dividing the community property. The division of property under the Texas Family Code has to be "just and right" - not necessarily a 50/50 split.  A man and wife are still considered married until the court enters a final decree of divorce, therefore getting another woman pregnant before your divorce is final is considered adultery.  So, what is the effect?

The court will take the adultery in consideration when dividing up the community property. Certain counties consider adultery more heavily than others when dividing up the community estate.  Some counties take a "what's the big deal" approach and others are more conservative.  So, if you get another woman pregnant while waiting on your divorce to be final, its possible the court will award a disproportionate share of the community estate to the other spouse (or quite possibly, stick the adulterer with more debt).

 

 

Sex, lies and infidelity.

Infidelity is a frequent topic brought up by our clients.  Texas is a no-fault divorce state which means if a spouse wants a divorce, the other spouse is not required to have committed a "bad act."  See Tex. Fam. Code Sect. 6.002-.007.  Lately there have been several public figures that have revealed their extramarital affairs.  Coupling this with the frequency adultery is brought up by our clients, a primer on adultery as a ground for divorce is appropriate. 

Under Section 6.003 of the Texas Family Code, adultery is a ground for divorce.  As a Dallas divorce lawyer, my experience is that adultery usually is not the cause of divorce.  Although infidelity is is commonly reported as a cause of divorce, several studies show that the majority of couples who discover infidelity remain married to the unfaithful spouse for several years following their discovery.  Additional studies at the University of Washington and University of North Carolina report that occurrences of adultery are declining and that the strongest risk factor for adultery is one occurring outside of the marital relationship - opportunity. 

Under the adultery fault ground found in the Texas Family Code, one spouse is required to show that the other engaged in sexual intercourse with one not their husband or wife.  Without diving into semantics, Texas courts take a literal approach in construing the term intercourse.  As a result, proving adultery is very difficult to do. 

Assuming a party to a divorce is able to prove adultery occurred, courts take different approaches in deciding what impact that conduct will have in dividing the marital estate.  It comes as a shock to most people that a lot of courts take a "so what" approach - meaning adultery has little, if any, impact on the remainder of the divorce proceeding.  This is especially true if the couple's status quo prior to filing for divorce was one of marital discord.  Courts do, however, examine adulterous conduct very closely when it was committed in front of children of the marriage; the timing of the affair prior to filing for divorce; and where the adulterous conduct occurred.  The minority of courts consider adultery an atrocious act, hate what it does to the marriage relationship, and divide the marital estate disproportionately as a result. 

Although a fault ground for divorce, adultery is also an act of betrayal against your spouse.  Committing adultery causes an untold pain which rapidly turns into anger.  This anger will cause the innocent spouse to inflict the most amount of pain and burden on the other spouse during the divorce proceeding.

If you suspect that your spouse is having an affair, and you are considering ending the marriage, you should understand that proving adultery is very difficult, and if the offensive conduct did not occur in front of the children of marriage, adultery generally does not cause a court to deviate a significant amount from a 50/50 split of the community property.  Finally, remember that you do not have to navigate the divorce process on your own.  Contact a competent Dallas divorce attorney to help guide you through the maze. 

 

 

Infidelity is a frequent topic brought up by our clients.  Texas is a no-fault divorce state which means if a spouse wants a divorce, the other spouse is not required to have committed a "bad act."  See Tex. Fam. Code Sect. 6.002-.007.  Lately there have been several public figures that have revealed their extramarital affairs.  Coupling this with the frequency adultery is brought up by our clients, a primer on adultery as a ground for divorce is appropriate.