Dallas Divorce Law Blog : Dallas Texas Divorce Lawyer & Attorney : O'Neil Anderson Law Firm : TX Child Support & Custody Issues

Many parents have long distances to bear between their children and themselves.  On Fridays and Sundays at the ariport, one can see many parents escorting kids to and from flights.  Airlines have regulations addressing flights for minor children flying without an adult -- called Unaccompanied Minors.  The regulations and fees charged vary between the airlines.  Here's a summary of the various airlines policies:

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I wanted to share with our readers a very special song I heard today by the Zac Brown Band called Highway 20 Ride about a father's visitation with his son.  Here's the video and lyrics.  Hope this is as meaningful to you and it was to me:

Highway 20 Ride:

I ride east every other Friday
But if I had it my way
A day would not be wasted on this drive
And I want so bad to hold you
Son, there’s things I haven't told you
Your mom and me couldn't get along

So I drive and I think about my life
And wonder why that I slowly die inside
Every time I turn that truck around
Right at the Georgia line
And I count the days
And the miles back home to you
On that Highway 20 ride

A day might come you'll realize
That if you see through my eyes
There was no other way to work it out
And a part of you might hate me
But son, please don’t mistake me
For a man that didn’t care at all

And I drive and I think about my life
And wonder why that I slowly die inside
Every time I turn that truck around
Right at the Georgia line
And I count the days
And the miles back home to you
On that Highway 20 ride

So when you drive
And the years go flying by
I hope you smile
If I ever cross your mind
It was the pleasure of my life
And I cherished every time
And my whole world
It begins and ends with you
On that Highway 20 ride....
 

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Are you dreading Christmas? Will it be your first special holiday since your separation or divorce? Are you depressed about not having your children for that special day this year? Whatever the holiday, you are not alone. Here are some survival tips to make it through:

1.  Ensure the Children’s Schedule Is Specific.

Confirm the children’s schedule with your ex as far in advance as you can. If you don’t already have a specific schedule set out, then negotiate those days/times as possible. Your children will appreciate knowing in advance where they will be, especially if they need to let Santa know where to deliver their presents!

2.  Don't Fight Over Which Days You Have Your Children.

Make whatever days your have with your children special. Most children of divorce will tell you that it’s not the quantity of time that is important, it is the quality of time – the memories created – during the time you have. If you really need particular days due to work or visiting relatives, offer to trade days with your ex or give your ex those special days next year. Remember the golden rule: treat your ex they way you would like to be treated, even if it isn't reciprocated.

3.  Do Something Special For Yourself.

Enjoy a day by yourself. Open a bottle of wine, watch basketball on television, take a bubble bath, wrap presents -- do whatever you want to do to relax for one day. That way you'll be ready when the kids get there.

4.  Support The Children's Relationship With The Other Parent.

If you need to speak to someone about your sad feelings, talk to a friend or therapist - not your kids. The children don't need to hear it. They need to hear that it is okay to have fun with their other parent too.

5.  Create New Traditions.

This is a new beginning for you and your children so don't try to replicate the past. Find new ways to celebrate the event. You can preserve some of the past traditions but find new ways of celebrating too.   Make the time you have with your children meaningful and something they will always remember.

6.  Get Outside.

Go for a walk or ski or snowshoe. There is nothing more rejuvenating than being outside with nature and your family. When your kids are with you, take them outside too. A good snowball fight can really build up an appetite. Or, the kids will always remember the time they tackled you in a game of football.

7.  Give of Your Heart.

Most people are tight on money this year, and that is likely worsened if you are recently separated. Do something special for the people you love. Maybe you can write a special little poem for each of them or list twenty ways you appreciate them. Gifts often don't have lasting meaning. Can you even list five gifts you received last year or the year before? It is the feelings of love and appreciation that last forever.

8.  Stay Sober.

If you over-drink, you run the risk of crumbling into a pile of self-pity and depression. Nobody wants to see that and certainly your kids don't need to see it. Have fun but be careful so can keep it together emotionally, especially during your first Christmas since your separation.

9.  Surround Yourself With Positive, Supportive People.

If your family or friends are negative, remind them the season is all about gratitude, love and appreciation. Park you own negativity and search for the positive in everything and everyone, even your ex.

10.  Relax.

Know that in time the holidays will become easier to get through and more fun. Just take a deep breath and get through your first set of holidays. Next year, it will be better.

(Adapted from Brian Galbraith of the Ontario Family Law Blog.)

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In a July 31, 2009 opinion by the Dallas Court of Appeals, it was confirmed that Federal law trumps Texas law when it comes to income tax issues.  In In re S.L.M., the mother brought child custody proceedings against father.  The district court appointed mother and father as joint managing conservators and awarded mother the right to claim the children as exemptions on her federal income tax return. On appeal, father contended the district court erred in awarding mother the right to claim the two children as tax exemptions.  In re S.L.M., ___ S.W.3d ___, No. 05-08-01277-CV, 2009 WL 2343264 (Tex. App. - Dallas July 31, 2009, no pet. h.).

The Dallas Court of Appeals held the district court erred in awarding mother the exemption rights and examined tax exemptions under the United States Internal Revenue Code.  In computing taxable income, a taxpayer is permitted to claim dependents as exemptions.  29 U.S.C. Sect. 151(a) & (c).  The Internal Revenue Code provides that for divorced parents the custodial parent is the party entitled to the dependent exemption.  Id. at Sect. 152(e)(1).  The Internal Revenue Code defines a custodial parent as the parent having custody of the child for the greater portion of the calendar year.  Id. at Sect. 152(e)(4).

In applying the relevant provisions of the Internal Revenue Code to the facts, the court held that on any given week the father had possession of the children for approximately 100 hours as compared to 68 hours a week for the mother.  Accordingly, the trial court erred in awarding mother the dependent exemptions and reversed its ruling. 

The S.L.M. ruling shows that notwithstanding the power of the district court, Federal law trumps Texas law when it comes to tax issues.  As a Dallas divorce lawyer it is important to stay on top of not only family law developments but developments in other areas that impact family law, including (although sometimes mind numbing) tax law. 

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House Bill 1012, passed by the Texas Legislature and awaiting Governor Perry's signature, changes the Texas Family Code provisions regarding access by a grandparent to a grandchild over the objections of a parent.  The statute allows a court to grant access over a parent's objection by a grandparent to a grandchild.  This changes the prior law that required a court to grant access upon meeting the terms of the statute.  Now, a court may or may not grant the access.  If the court does grant access over a parent's objection, the court must enter certain findings about whether the grandparent has overcome the presumption that a fit parent acts in the best interest of that parent's child by proving that the denial of access to the child would significanly impair the child's physical health or emotional well-being. 

Click here to see the text of HB 1012.

This new law further erodes grandparents' access to grandchildren, particularly in circumstances where one parent has passed away and the other parent refuses to maintain a relationship with the deceased parent's family.  Instead of requiring the court to award access upon meeting the already high standard of proof set out by the US Supreme Court in Troxel v. Granville, the new law allows a court to either grant access or not grant it, even in the face of the required proof.

As a Dallas family law attorney, I have found the Dallas County family court judges to be very amenable to grandparent access to grandchildren.  I have had a couple of cases where one parent passed away and the other parent denied a relationship between the deceased parent's family.  In those cases, the judges have all been very empathetic to the grandparent's situation and wanted to encourage that relationship.  But, I'm sure some judges are not so inclined.

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The Lege has adjourned and left us with a bunch of new laws to sort out.  One of those that applies to Dallas divorce cases involves changes to the Texas Standard Possession Schedule, scheduled to be effective on September 1st. 

House Bill 1012 (click here to see text of enrolled bill) provides that the new default time for the beginning and ending of a possession period will be 6:00 p.m. This time will apply automatically unless a different time is elected by a conservator at the time the order is rendered.  The parent opposed to the new time selected by the other parent must show the time change is not in the best interest of the child.

Under the old law, a parent could elect to have weekends begin at the time school is regularly dismissed, but other parts of the schedule were unclear as to the beginning and ending times of the possession period.  Now, all of these times begin and end at 6:00 p.m., unless otherwise specifically stated.

Upon request, the court must alter the standard possession order unless the court finds that alteration is not in the best interest of the child to allow the possession to begin or end when school lets out or resumes for the following periods of possession:  weekends, Thursdays, Spring Break, Christmas, Thanksgiving, and Mother's Day/Father's Day.  In most districts, Father's Day occurs during the summer when school is not in session, but it can be extended to another time upon request.

Comment:  As a Dallas Divorce Lawyer, who is Board Certified in Family Law, I think this law may be somewhat confusing in application.  Our current standards provide that the Texas Standard Possession Schedule automatically applies unless a party shows a reason why it should not, making the Texas Standard Possession Schedule the presumption and placing the burden on the party opposed to it.  This new law makes the changes to the Texas Standard Possession Schedule the presumption, which may cause confusion in figuring out who has the burden of proof regarding the changes.  MMO

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