Divorce Survival Tips, Dr. Phil Style

Posted on June 23, 2010 by Michelle O'Neil

How do you protect yourself and prepare for a divorce?  You must know your rights under Texas divorce law when it comes to spousal support, child support, and marital assets.  It also helps to know the outlook of the judges in the county you live in who might be likely to hear your divorce case, such as Dallas County Divorce Judges or Collin County Divorce Judges.  Sometimes how a judge views the law and the facts that fall within the law can vary from county to county.

Here are some Divorce Survival Tips to help you get ready:

  • Divorce proceedings can be like war -- be prepared for the battle. It doesn't have to be like war, and can be handled collaboratively, but people can't get along well enough to reach agreements.
  • Consider the timing of the divorce.  Consider whether it is beneficial for you to stay in the marriage until a particular time.  Example, your spouse is set to receive a bonus at the end of the year.  If you file the divorce prior to that time, you risk a claim that the bonus is not marital property.  Or, is there a benefit to making it to the 10-year-marriage mark?
  • Consult with an attorney, or more than one attorney, to make sure you are getting the best advice for your situation.
  • Gather the information you will need to present your best case.  You will need all of the documents related to financial accounts, real property, debts, etc.  (Check out Divorce Cost and Prep from DivorceApps.com for an iPhone App that will help you put together a list of documents that your lawyer might need.)
  • Don't put the kids in the middle of your divorce.  Work something out with your spouse so that you can both stay involved in the kids' lives and co-parent them together.
  • Don't talk to everyone you see about your divorce.  Keep your conversations very limited to just the one or two people you know you can trust and who won't talk to your spouse.

Dr. Phil has his own set of Divorce Survival Tips.

See related post:  Dr. Phil asks, Are You Ready For Divorce?

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Dr. Phil asks, Are You Ready for a Divorce?

Posted on June 22, 2010 by Michelle O'Neil

About 20% of people that contact a lawyer about a divorce are not "ready" to actually get a divorce, according to a statistic cited by Dr. Phil on his show today Are You Ready For Divorce?  Dr. Phil believes that most people are too quick to get divorced. 

As a Dallas divorce lawyer, I routinely advise my clients that they should explore every option for keeping their marriage together before going the divorce route.  Dr. Phil agrees.  He says before you get a divorce, you should make sure your emotional business is finished, you are prepared legally, and you are ready to move to a co-parenting relationship with your spouse (instead of the married dynamics you have been in).

Dr. Phil has a Divorce Readiness Test:

  1. Have you done everything you can to save your marriage?
  2. Do you have unfinished emotional business?
  3. Have you researched, planned, and prepared yourself legally for divorce?
  4. Are you ready to adopt a new standard of conduct with your children?
  5. Are you will to create a new relationship as a co-parent?

To make sure you are ready for divorce, Dr. Phil suggests reading books about repairing your marriage, going to a marriage counselor, speaking with a clergy person or spiritual advisor, and spending time focusing on what each person's role is in the marital break-up. Evaluate: How did the marriage go wrong? Is what fight is about worth ruining the marriage? Are you willing to put in the effort to make the relationship work? What is your role in causing the break-up?

You know you are ready for a divorce when you can walk out the door with no anger, frustration, or hurt.  Otherwise, you have unfinished business, says Dr. Phil.

Tomorrow... Divorce Survival Tips.

 

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Same Sex Couple Divorce and Parenting Issues

Posted on June 14, 2010 by Michelle O'Neil

On Thursday, June 17, I will be participating as a panelist in the State Bar of Texas Family Law Update:  Same Sex Couple Divorce/Parenting Issues webcast seminar. 

This two-hour webcast is intended to inform the family law practitioner about recent developments in same-sex family law cases. Dallas and Austin have both recently litigated gay divorces; the 5th and 9th Courts of Appeal have recently issued opinions addressing standing for same-sex parents.

  • WHO is most affected by same-sex family law cases?
  • WHAT can practitioners do with cutting-edge lawyering?
  • WHERE will standing end up, with the split of opinions among appellate courts?
  • WHEN is a parent not a parent?
  • WHY can’t couples legally married in other jurisdictions get divorced in Texas?

Advising same-sex couples can have long-term ramifications for the best interests of children, and need to anticipate upcoming changes in the law, both locally and nationally. Join us to see the latest developments from the attorneys on the front lines. 

This seminar is approved by the Texas Bar for continuing legal education with 2 hours credit. The seminar is sponsored by the Sexual Orientation and Gender Identification Issues Section of the State Bar of Texas.

I am very excited to be on this panel and plan to learn more than I teach!  Other speakers on the panel include:

1. Ms. Jennifer R. Cochran, Austin
Attorney at Law

Read Jennifer's Blog Here:  The Zealous Advocate

2. Ms. Karen J. Langsley, Dripping Springs
Attorney at Law

3. Ms. Michelle May O'Neil, Dallas
O'Neil Anderson

4. Mr. Peter Schulte, Dallas
Schulte & Apgar

Mr. Schulte has been in the news a great deal lately, representing one member of the gay couple seeking a divorce in Dallas.  That case remains pending on appeal in the Dallas Court of Appeals.

See my prior posts on that case:

  1. Dallas Judge: Ban on Gay Marriage and Divorce Unconstitutional: UPDATE
  2. Dallas Judge Tena Callahan Speaks Publicly For The First Time Since Her Controversial Ruling

Time Magazine has also written on this topic recently, discussing the gay divorce cases pending both in Dallas and in Austin, Can Gay Couples Divorce Where They Can't Marry?

The cost of the webcast seminar is $135. 

Webcast registration is only available online and by using a credit card. Go to TexasBarCLE.com and select 'Webcasts' from the menu. Registrations by mail, fax, or phone will not be accepted.

We encourage early registrations to give you time to verify that your system is webcast-ready. Our technical support lines are usually extremely busy on the day of a webcast, so be please register and test your system a few days ahead of the webcast date.

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DIY Divorce - New App Available for iPhone

Posted on June 8, 2010 by Michelle O'Neil

One of the most important parts of getting a divorce is dividing up the assets and debts between the spouses. Estate Divider is the latest iPhone app from Divorceapps.com that gives spouses a DIY tool to help themselves and reduce the costs of lawyers, mediators, and litigation. The app allows a spouse to:

  • Input the values for the various assets and liabilities of the marital estate;
  • Assign specific assets and liabilities to “Spouse A” or “Spouse B” (such as a house or car) or allocate asset value between “Spouse A” and “Spouse B” (such as a bank account);
  • Input an overall desired division of the estate between “Spouse A” and “Spouse B”;
  • Calculate the amount of money needed to accomplish the desired split, express the amount of money needed to accomplish the split in terms of either a cash payment from the spouse with the higher initial allocation, or alimony, or a mix of both;
  • If any of the equalizing payment is allocated to alimony, determine the post tax equivalent of the alimony to be received by payee and the post tax cost of the alimony to be paid by the paying spouse;
  • Calculate any overall tax advantage to either spouse by structuring the part or all of the equalizing payment as alimony;
  • Email the desired settlement and outcome of the property division.

Estate Divider app is available on iTunes for $9.99.

Estate Divider is the latest creation of Dallas family law specialist Michelle May O’Neil and Fort Worth forensic CPA Bryan Rice. The two formed their company Divorceapps.com in 2010 to provide DIY solutions that save divorcing spouses money on the costs of getting a divorce. Their first app, Divorce Cost & Prep, released in May on iTunes illustrates the hidden costs of divorce such as the cost of maintaining two homes, added transportation costs for the children, and cost of parking at a lawyers office. Divorce Cost & Prep also helps a spouse put together all of the documents that a lawyer might need to process the divorce, again saving the client money.

O’Neil and Rice developed the idea for the apps as a way to help clients save money in their divorces. “There are many people that want or need a divorce that cannot afford the high costs of litigation,” says O’Neil. “Our apps provide those people with the ability to help themselves and save on the money it might otherwise cost to pay a lawyer to do these things for them.” 

Divorceapps.com uses Brainwash Inc. to develop their iPhone apps, the foremost developer of iPhone apps in the DFW Metroplex.

Michelle May O’Neil specializes in family law in Dallas, Texas with the firm O’Neil Anderson. She is the co-author of All About Texas Law and Kids, published in 2010 by Texas Lawyer Press. As a step-mother to her husband’s 10-year old son, she relates to many of her clients with blended families. Bryan C. Rice is a forensic CPA in Fort Worth who focuses his practice on assisting attorneys and divorcing spouses with the financial aspects of litigation.

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