A Little Divorce Humor To 15 Fifteen Funniest Quotes About Divorce

15. “Ah yes, divorce…from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man’s genitals through his wallet.” - Robin Williams

14. “The difference between a divorce and a legal separation is that a legal separation gives a husband time to hide his money.” - Johnny Carson

13. “The only time my wife and I had a simultaneous orgasm was when the judge signed the divorce papers.” - Woody Allen


12. “I’m an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house.” - Zsa Zsa Gabor

11. “To get over my divorce, I got a prescription to live at the Playboy mansion for a while.” - James Caan

 

10. “I’d marry again if I found a man who had $15 million and would sign over half of it to me before the marriage and guarantee he’d be dead in a year.” - Bette Davis

9. “She cried - and the judge wiped her tears with my checkbook.” - Tommy Manville

8. “I can’t get divorced because I’m a Catholic. Catholics don’t get divorced. They stay together through anger and hatred and festering misery, just like God intended.” - Lenny Clarke

7. “I look a divorce this way: it’s better to have loved and lost, then to live with that bitch for the rest of my life.” - Steve McGrew

6. “Marriage isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be. Let me tell you, honestly. Marriage is probably the chief cause of divorce.” - Larry Gelbart

 

5. “Divorce sucks. Let me tell you, after five years of marriage, it is devastating to have the person with the good credit move out.” - Rich Vos

4. “Workaholicism is such a tough addiction to get over. I had to divorce my wife because she was an enabler.” - Dave Mordal

3. “What happened? Satan was busy?” - Sam Kinison on finding out his wife had hired lawyer Marvin Mitchelson to represent her in her divorce case against him.

2. “I can’t take his genius any more.” - Rita Hayworth on why she divorced Orson Welles

1. “You know why divorces are so expensive? Because they’re worth it.” - Willie Nelson
 

The 15 Funniest Quotes About Divorce
Darndivorce.com <-- I love this site!

Thank you to Whip It Out Comedy for their hilarious collection of divorce quotes.

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Comments (2) Read through and enter the discussion with the form at the end
sandy may - July 19, 2009 7:59 PM

I loved every word of this --the billboard is priceless!!

Shawn Weber, Esq. - February 16, 2012 2:58 PM

Very funny stuff! Thanks for sharing!

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